Missing You

I don't know what is going on lately with me but I have been missing my Paw-Paw. That man was everything to me. I only had a little bit of time with him. I think about all the years that I have not had him. Why did he leave me before I was ready???

My Paw-Paw died in 1995. He never saw me graduate high school or college. He never saw me get married and he will never meet his great grandchildren. I have so much anger because I want to know, is he proud of me and the choices I made in life? Would he have been happy with the way I am? Would he have given me advice or let me figure it out on my own? I hate that I have an angry feeling and I know that he is not suffering and he is in a better place. But, if I could have one more day with him...

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me,
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one ore day with you

First thing I'd do, is pray for time to crawl
Then I'd unplug the telephone
And keep the tv off
I'd hold you every second
Say a million I love you's
That's what I'd do, with one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

Leave me wishing still for one more day
Leave me wishing still for one more day

Lyrics: One More Day
Artist: Diamond Rio

The Past Few Days

It’s been a little bit since I have written anything. Apparently my life is not full of exciting details that I know about. I enjoy writing these blogs but I’m afraid that I am wasting my time and that nobody reads them. Oh well. At least I get to enjoy reading and writing them. I like to laugh at myself. If you can’t laugh at yourself, you have no sense of humor.

The last time I wrote, I spoke about my iMac’s hard drive crashing. Well, got a new hard drive and my old one is trash. I can’t get anything off of it. ☹ Not cool. All my contacts and saved papers from school where on that drive. I guess I won’t need the papers because I have about given up that road but the contacts were very important to me. Now, I have to figure them all out again. Oh boy! I have spent the entire weekend trying to get my computer up to par. That was not the easiest thing to do but I think I got most of it done. By the way, the “before” pictures were lost. Not too sad about that. ☺

Father’s Day Weekend was super busy. Saturday we did a lot of running around before heading to my dad’s. First we woke up and headed to Petsmart to get fish for my other fish to eat. While we were there, we had to look at the cats for adoption. They have a special place in my heart. I’ve always told Scott, “When you go, I’m going to become the crazy cat lady.” I think that would fit me perfectly. So after we leave (without a cat), we head to the Verizon store to transfer our lines to a business account. Well the guy that sold us our phones was not there so we dealt with some other person. Turns out they couldn’t help us because we needed the tax id number or something. So it was another wasted trip. Scott is going to have to go by himself next time because I will not go again to waste my time. Not even worth it.

So after Verizon, we headed home to pack up our stuff to head to dad’s. We headed out to go eat at Texas Roadhouse. If you know my family, we are very clean people. We have OCD big time. So eating at Texas Roadhouse was an experience for my children. They were in awe that they could throw the peanut shells on the floor. My dad had a great time getting them to throw their shells on the ground. Kaylie about had a heart-attack putting stuff on the floor. I thought it was pretty funny. After we ate, we headed out to dad’s house. We got there and the pool had a funny shade to it but the kids still wanted to swim. So dad got in there and swam with them. He tries to keep it clean but when he works out of state and stuff, he doesn’t always get it right. At least he tried and I love him for that. We stayed over there for a few hours and then we left. Man, I was tired.

So Sunday (Father’s Day), we headed to my inlaws at 8:00 am. Scott and his dad were going golfing and wanted to take Brendan with them for a few minutes and let me hit some golf balls. Brendan got bored pretty quickly. So mom-in-law and I went to pick him up. We hung out together while the men golfed. It was a fun day with some rough moments but all together it was a great day. The food was good and the company was great. It was another busy day and I was tired. So I watched True Blood and then went to bed because I had to get up the next morning at 7:00 am to drive to Denton. Overall the weekend was great and I hope it was a great Father’s Day for the men in my life.

Guess Who's Back?

Back again. Shady’s back. Tell a friend. Ha! Heard that song for the first time in FOREVER. Songs like that bring back memories. Ah, memories. Memories of driving around with nothing to do with the windows down blaring music. Good times.

Our weekend was busy. Friday, went to the doctor. I was prescribed some Amoxicillin for my sinus infection. These things are huge. HUGE! I feel like they are going to get stuck going down my throat. So since I wasn’t feeling good, I did only 30 minutes of yoga with my momma. Oh and my brother had decided to join us that night. He can get in the frame of mind, but when I am around my brother, all I want to do is fight. Not a good feeling on yoga day. So needless to say, I got nauseous while doing yoga and had to stop. By the way, yoga is totally not for me. I can’t “clear” my mind of anything. I have things I have to worry about. Any who…



Saturday wasn’t very interesting, oh wait, yes it was. We went to eat as a family again. After that we went to Verizon to see about getting new phones. We ended up with new phones and another line for our employee. I got a LG Ally. It is so great!!!! So our Saturday was nice. Sunday was so busy. We went grocery shopping and spent tons of money on food. Food we will eat. Nothing bad or anything. It is amazing to me how much our grocery bill goes up with how much the kids grow. I don’t know how much more food my kids can consume. After grocery shopping, it was camp time! Football for Brendan and Cheer for Kaylie. Boy was it hot! HOT! Overall the camps went good. Learned some new stuff and some old stuff. Brendan had fun as far as I can tell. He doesn’t really get animated with some stuff. After camps, we went swimming. The pool was really warm. That night, my iMac stopped working.

My life has officially ended. My iMac is not working. My life is on that computer! Everything I have ever done is on there. I tried everything that the Apple people told me to do. Nothing worked! I worked on it Monday and nothing. Scott sent my computer to one of his friends to fix it. I hope that Scott’s friend is able to get my information off my hard drive. If not, I don’t know what I will do! I guess that’s why I should back up my stuff more often. Then I wouldn’t be freaking out the way I am. It’s really sad that in today’s world, my life revolves around my computer. My computer keeps me up with my calendar and my addresses. Oh my gosh! What am I going to do? I am going on my second day without it! I am glad I have my MacBook. Without either, my life would be wasting away! By the way, I’m getting my iMac back on Thursday.

So, I hope to have good news at a later date about my computer. I could use all the good thoughts you can spare sent my way. Overall, not much has happened here. ☺

Not Easy Being Me

If a person ever said working with kids is an easy job, they deserve to be slapped. My job may seem easy and carefree but in all actuality it isn’t. I am not only a teacher. I am a butt-wiper, janitor, friend, and disciplinarian. Take today and yesterday for instance. Yesterday, I had a child miss the toilet and he proceeded to step in the poo on the floor. I had to clean him up and clean the floor up as well as watch 8 other children. He thought it was fun and games. I had to keep saying to myself, “It’s mud. It’s mud.” If I had thought about it, I would have lost my lunch. Now today, during snack time, I had a child keep coughing. I told him to get a drink of water and then he proceeded to puke on the table, the floor, and himself. If it had been any other day where I was feeling better, I would have handled it better than yelling for the director. Needless to say, I couldn’t really help her because I was afraid that she was going to have to clean up my mess. So, being a daycare teacher is not a walk in the sunshine.

I am beginning to fear doing yoga, which is the plan for tonight’s exercise. I don’t think I have the peacefulness in me that is needed for this exercise. Have I mentioned how much I loathe working out? I’m sure I have but I am mentioning it again. I loathe working out! My momma makes it fun and all that but I’m not that person to get excited about it. I have to literally drag myself to my car and drive to my mom’s house. I’m not saying I don’t feel better when I do it, but it is the getting started that drives me bonkers. If I don’t start seeing some results soon, I am going to start thinking I’m doing this for nothing.

Brendan is very excited about his football camp on Sunday. He keeps asking me all the time, “Do I have football camp this weekend?” I hope he keeps up with this positive attitude if he does make it. Kaylie doesn’t really talk about cheer until practices start up. Then she is constantly walking around the house going, “A-H-M-O, AAAAAAHMO!” Sometimes you can’t help but give in and say it with her. But after the millions of times, you just want it to stop.

I hate going to the doctor. I broke down and called because of the pressure in my head and sinus areas. It has to be bad in order for me to call the doctor and make an appointment. Doctors are not high on my list. Neither are dentists. What made this appointment even worse was that I didn’t see my regular doctor. I despise the fact that they always make me feel inferior and that I am doing stuff wrong with myself. I enjoy my regular doctor because he makes me feel comfortable but telling me stuff I need to do better. He doesn’t say it in a know-it-all voice. He is very friendly and helpful. So, I was upset I didn’t get him as my doctor today. Plus, I had to wait over an hour to see this not regular doctor. Blah! So, now I will begin my weekend with a sinus infection and jury duty on Monday.

Calgon...

Take me away! Just kidding! Today, I decided wasn’t going to be a great day. Turned out, it wasn’t that bad. No workout today. Today was our off day. Instead, I went to dinner with my hubby and kiddos. We ate at Amado’s in Murphy. If you haven’t been there, it’s pretty good. Dinner for 4 costs about $45.00 including drinks. It was a nice night with my family. Good laughs and good food. We have not had a night like this in a long time. I enjoyed it.

Since today was my off day, I decided that I was going to dance around my room to get a little movement going. Dancing to “Man! I Feel Like A Woman!” and “According to You” makes me feel so much better. I enjoy dancing and jumping in the privacy of my room. Singing at the top of my lungs helps too. Of course, there was that one time that I jammed my toe by dancing around. I have to be careful because I get out of control sometimes. Never was I in to going to clubs and stuff, but you give me music in my house and I will be grooving and moving. I get that from the times I spent dancing with my momma. We had good times, my momma and I.

So after I danced and boogied a little, to make my momma happy, I decided to work on my scrapbook. I was in my room for about 2 hours and got 3 pages done. The three pages are dealing with the snow that we had here in Texas at the beginning of the year. I am so far behind in my scrapbook. I feel overwhelmed and not prepared enough. I need a scrapbook room. But first, I need a bigger house. Maybe I will ask Scott to build me another room. Ha! Yeah, if we build another room it will be for my future baby.

Kaylie told me today, as if I didn’t know, that she was out of pants to wear to daycare. Sometimes that girl…

Sitting in my living room with my hubby watching Discovery Channel is final proof that I am happy and content with my life. Where the silence is not uncomfortable and you aren’t filling the silence with chatter is not common nowadays. I love sitting here relaxing while watching the hubby search the internet for pellet guns or dove leases. It is a life that I enjoy and cherish each and every day.

Working Out

I will be the first person to say that I am not a health conscience person. I don’t work out and I don’t eat healthy. I guess that is why when my mom wanted to borrow my P90X videos, I said that I would do them with her. What was I thinking? Apparently I wasn’t thinking at all. Who in their right mind actually enjoys working out? I don’t. In fact, I loathe working out. Looking at all my fat jiggling and waving around doesn’t make me feel better. It actually makes me feel worse. How is working out going to help me feel better if I can’t stand to look at myself? Since I am 25, I decided now is the time for me to really try. With my mom as my support/work out buddy, I feel that I might get some new attitude I didn’t have before.

I had “before” pictures taken yesterday. OMG! What a sight that was! I am hoping to see some kind of miracle! I was weighed and measured. I don’t like that being done (even at the doctors office) but I believe that maybe, just maybe, I might feel better about myself if I stick to the regiment my mom has decided on. I hope I don’t crash and burn before then.

With summer right around the corner, pool time is coming quickly. I don’t care what I look like at my house but if we have company, I am not getting anywhere near a pool without a moo-moo on. Nobody is going to see this nastiness. I enjoy swimming and I think that will be motivation for me to really stick with this program. I might continue to randomly post about my experiences but I don’t think it will be an everyday thing. I want to share my ups and share my downs but I don’t want to recall every moment. Some things are better left unsaid.

Brendan has been worn out just from his football camp on Sunday. He was dragging all day yesterday. It was pretty funny to see him so tired. I hope that is a good sign of things to come for him. I will be at the fields all day pretty much on Sunday. Concession stand, football camp, parent meeting and then cheer camp. Whew! I’m tired just thinking about it. I hope that Brendan really enjoys the football experience. I hope that he continues on this journey for himself and not for us. I think he needs this one thing that makes him feel good. Now, if he makes it, it’s going to be rough. Brendan is a strong and resilient child. He will do great!

Kaylie, of course, doesn’t seem to every have any issues with cheer. Well, except the listening and talking part. The girl doesn’t seem to realize that there is a time to talk and a time to listen. I don’t know what I am going to do with her. She has fabulous coaches and I know they won’t let her get away with anything. The fact that the coaches are friends of mine makes it even better! Kaylie and her BFF are going to have a blast this year. I really can’t wait for this all to begin. AHMO!

Wish me luck in the coming weeks that I continue with my work out routine and I survive my kiddos’ extracurricular activities!

First Day of Football Camp

I was a very nervous momma. Here my son is growing up and moving on. I could have cried when I let him go by himself with the coaches and other players. The other moms there were really nice to me, considering this is my first time with him. But my heart was aching seeing him go and be happy. I don't see that a lot from him. It made me sad but happy at the same time. My little boy has found something he enjoys. I hope that he will continue to like it and I really hope he makes the team. So much worrying from me. Scott was proud of Brendan and Brendan practically shined when I told him we were both proud of him. Sometimes you don't realize how much a child waits to hear his parents are proud of him. That was a lesson learned.

Brendan handled the heat well enough. It was so hot but that's what we get for playing football in the Texas summer heat. But he said he did okay. Brendan said the players/coaches said he talked a lot. I laughed. I agree with the players/coaches. So we had to discuss that he needed to pay attention to what he was supposed to be doing and not have conversations. There are times when talking is okay. While practicing, probably not the best times. He looked so cute and little while having his camp. There goes my momma instincts again. :)

Driving home, I kept telling him how proud I was of him and how well he did. I don't think the boy stopped smiling all the way home. Once we were home, it was pool time. I hope that I will be able to see him take a hit by another boy. I hope my heart doesn't stop each time that happens. Overall, I am just happy that my son is happy.



Heading to football camp! Look at that smile!

Going Ons

It’s been awhile. Keeping a blog is much harder than what I thought. I guess my life is not as eventful as I thought it would be by this time. I spend my nights watching Nickelodeon with the kids and searching for a job on my Mac. I kind of miss going to school because I felt I was doing something beneficial. I have the fleeting feeling that I am failing my family. I hate that feeling. I am so tired of filling out applications and sending emails. I’m in a rut, while everybody around me is moving forward with families/careers. Whew! It felt really good to get that off my mind.

Brendan and Kaylie will be active over the summer and I will be along for the ride. Kaylie has cheer and Brendan has decided to try out for football. My little boy is growing up. If Brendan makes football, we will have the kids major full time. Meaning no every other weekend to their mom’s house. What was I thinking? ☺ Just kidding. I’m proud that my children want to be active and play in a sport. I’m worried about Brendan making football. If he doesn’t make it, we are thinking about putting him in karate or something. He needs to vent his frustrations one way or another. I think this opportunity will be great for him. Kaylie needs to get her socializing out of the way. She talks way to much at school and doesn’t expel her energy the way it needs to be done. Cheerleading helps her gain friends and keep a positive attitude. I hope the summer isn’t too hot. Ha! Who am I kidding? Summer in Texas equals massive heat. Let’s get ready for some football!!! AHMO!

End of the 2010 school year for my kiddos. Brendan will be in 5th grade and Kaylie will be in 3rd grade next year. It is so hard for me to believe that my kids will be in separate schools and won’t be in the same school again until high school. I am so proud of my kids. Brendan had A’s and B’s all year long and Kaylie had A’s all year long. Brendan also achieved perfect attendance. They made me a very happy mother.



Scott’s birthday was June 3rd. He turned 33 this year. We went out to a sushi restaurant because that is what Scott chose. Kaylie had her first piece of sushi. Scott tricked her into eating it. The faces she made were worth her trying a piece. I don’t think I have laughed so hard in my life. Overall, dinner was good and the hibachi grill chef was awesome. The kids really enjoyed it. It is an experience I hope my kids remember.







I’m going to try to keep up with this blog better than I have recently. Thank you for reading and sharing in my proud moments and my not so proud moments.